Where do baby cows go to eat lunch? At the calf-eteria.
My son just got a tattoo of a heart, a spade, a club, and a diamond, all without my permission. I guess I’ll deal with him later.
My wife is in a bad mood. I think her boyfriend forgot their anniversary. Way to go, dude. Now we all suffer…
In a boomerang shop: “I’d like to buy a new boomerang please. Also, can you tell me how to throw the old one away?”
Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation. Doctor: Don’t worry. Mine too.
Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother? My name is Paul.
Q: Did your hear about the man with a broken left arm and broken left leg? A: Don’t worry he’s “ALRIGHT” now!
Q: What did the Big chimney say to the little chimney A: You are too young to smoke
If the right side of the brain controls left side of the body, then lefties are the only ones in their right mind.
Whoever invented the Knock Knock jokes should get a no bell prize
Q: Why can’t you trust an atom? A: Because they make up everything